going back to "secretly" blogging.

lots of self-hatred lately. lots more i'd like to do with a blog.
i don't feel good enough or smart enough yet, and this hasn't lived up to what i had intended.
it's hard to explain. something is just missing.
i have many self-improvement plans for next summer.
they involve lots and lots and lots of reading and health,
two things that i don't have time for during the school year.
but i can't wait. leaving my teens will be prime time to change.
for the better.