i wanna go.

i think i just want to stay in (or go out) and read all day for awhile.
i wouldn't mind if people joined me, as long as they let me read peacefully, but that's really all i've felt like doing.
occasional shows have been nice and bike-riding to wherever i wanna' read has been nice too,
but not much else has seemed appealing.
well, i guess just personal productivity is the best way to word what i'm most interested in currently.
like, i always wanna' sew things really badly, but i lack a sewing machine.
i wanna' practice drawing, so i can be kind of good, but i don't have enough of an imagination.
i feel like it's the same with creative writing, i just don't know what to write about,
and i feel like drawing and writing are things we're either good at or we're not, which worries me.
are there ways to improve and expand my imagination? teach me.
i'm really lucky that i've stayed in touch with several great teachers, because they never fail to have the answers i'm looking for.
they know everything, like movies, books, camping, cooking, etc.
something i am really going to focus on for the next couple of months is refreshing my memory and therefore improving my ability to have intelligent conversations about things other than life.
when it comes to book-smarts, i really don't remember all that i feel i should have from essential subjects, like us/world history, biology, economics, etc.
i can go on forever about life and how it works, but i've been around so many people lately who remember all the details taught in school, and i've felt extremely insecure about being unable to contribute, ya' know?
i feel like i'm more...wise than intelligent, if that makes any sense at all?
in any case, i don't like it, i want both.

september is way too far away.
get me out of here.

although things have been really good.