i realized yesterday that i am at an amazing point in my life.
i can't recall ever feeling as content as i do for the time being.
money troubles and mild loneliness are pretty much all that can bring me down at the moment,
which they aren't.
i thought about you the other day.
i wanted to call and simply say, "let's start over."
but completely over. as if nothing had happened.
but it left my mind as soon as it entered.
i suppose i'm done swallowing my pride when it isn't necessary.
it's like my inner child has finally grown up in all of the ways that she needed to.
and i'm almost struggling to get her back because things feel so new without her.
i realized today that i haven't heard from my dad since the beginning of summer,
so i initiated the email tonight, although it maybe sort of upsets me that he wasn't the one to do so.
but there are worse things.
i don't think i'm studying abroad anymore, however, i still aspire to go to poland for maybe 3 weeks this summer.
i'd like to spend the whole time with him and my grandma danuta rather than at school.
i also got an invite from my old anthropology teacher to go to the galapagos islands in january of 2012, which i am dead seriously all over as long as i don't have to be a canada student.
can't even begin to imagine that trip right now.
lastly, i've been looking into woofing, which i plan to do as well. i'm thinking about iceland right now. these all sound so far-fetched.
but so did montana in my world. since that was possible, most things are possible in my mind.
anyway, i have so much confidence in my friends at home and here, and it really is an indescribable feeling.
in addition, this coming thanksgiving will by far be my best thanksgiving if it works out as planned.
so far, i've got a van of 10 people from home coming up, and it would rule if james and i could convince our parents to come up as well.
james and i already have so many planned visitors coming up as soon as we move in and through december aside from thanksgiving.
it's exciting.
i got my halloween costume today. really excited about that too.
i have become someone who needs to reduce her smoking habits- who would have thought? shouldn't have picked up the habit in the first place.
but there are worse things.
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I want to go to the Galapagos Islands so bad. I even signed up for a site that does cruises to the Galapagos Island and I get the emails every once and awhile.
ReplyDeleteamanda! you shouldn't be smoking at all, especially with your mysterious health issues! bad girl >:O
ReplyDeletebut really, please don't smoke. you don't need cigarettes. switch to pot ;D
M: It just sounds like an unreal trip. You will go someday, I know it :)
ReplyDeleteJ: I knooow. What sounds really ridiculous but is actually true is that when my head is all clouded, smoking a cigarette clears it up right away (temporarily). Pot just freaks me out and amplifies all of my issues, which sucks. I am already cutting it down though. I've been smoking on and off since my junior year, and it's always been an, "I'm just going to stop smoking today" kind of thing. I don't have a very addictive personality. Just been smoking more because I am more stressed (and am insanely surrounded by it) :/