real updates.

so really i've been working too little, going to too many shows,

celebrating way too many birthdays, struggling to get around,

and trying to find time for myself and for friends with the little down time i find hidden in corners.

i'm scared because i've been spending a lot of that free time sleeping and by myself,

and although i love it right now, i will probably feel unfulfilled and sad when moving time comes.

the month of august is already half full for me, and because i'll be having fun,

time is going to go by so fast. i really don't know what to do!

today i bought tickets to see rocky votolato play in a flipping house!

a friend's house! in east palo alto.

i bought one of the last 7 out of 40 tickets.

it will be legendary, i tell you.

i've been reading crime and punishment for the last 3 weeks and am really disappointed in how long it has taken me, i still have close to 100 pages left, and i am really determined to finish tonight.

i've read three books this summer. only three. that's not ok.

i'm getting more and more excited about getting my tattoo, although it's going to be between 400 and 600 dollars out of my pocket!

i'm worried about what i'm going to do for money when i get to seattle.

anyway, i got a macbook. that's pretty cool.

i am brainless when it comes to computers, so it's a bit overwhelming.

new toys are always exciting though!

i'm making a promise to myself right now to not sleep anymore than at bedtime.

IF i nap, they must last no longer than one hour.

i've been wasting too much time.

anyway, i'm off to read. seee ya.

.

always always always on the go.


boys really suck.

and

i also have a small feeling that the cure will slowly become my all time favorite band.


until death.

ohmygod,

third eye blind.

meh.

being gone for only a few days
makes it really hard for me to get back into the mix of things.

well.

the appointment and deposit are official.

i'm getting my first tattoo on my birthday.

yaaaay.

orientation.

well, i'm officially a redhawk.
campus card, class schedule, t-shirt, and all.
it already felt like home.
coming back here felt like i'd been gone for longer than three days,
it felt like i was visiting home for the first few hours.
i'm just really excited to do stuff.
join society of feminists.
go on crazy trips.
learn polish.
live in coffee shops.
eat hella thai food.
fully take care of myself.
sort of.
meet new people.
focus on the things i like.
i am 98% sure i am double-majoring in creative writing and cultural anthropology.
it hit me this weekend just how perfect that combination seems to be.

movies are so sad.
i spend too many lame mornings crying with myself on the couch.
i feel like it's good for me though.
i don't cry enough.

i've been getting that empty feeling too often lately,
where i just want to sit and do nothing.
seriously, nothing.
i can't bring myself to reach for a book, or a pencil and paper, or the tv remote,
my cat, the telephone,
or god forbid, actually get up and go somewhere.
i don't like it at all.

i got questioned about my i.d. for the first time ever at the airport yesterday.
i guess little me is growing up oh-so-fast.
i was really surprised.

i'm back in my "burritos are the best things ever invented" phase.

anyway, all that's left is the rest of july and august.
the first couple of weeks of september will be consumed by getting ready for moving,
and then i leave.
weird.