it's killing meeeee.

i want to want to write!

hmm.

i will probably go back to my livejournal (username: dreamsdont) after the summer.

for some reason, i feel like it just helps me say what i really want to say more than this journal does?

or maybe doesn't help, but inspires me instead.

i haven't felt like writing at all in the first place with this journal, which kind of sucks.

i also

was asked to play several upcoming club shows in san jose by a random fan,

and i turned him down just like tuesday.

i really do hope to join or create some cool music project in seattle.

dandelions is not cutting it for the time being.

wellwellwell

i finished crime and punishment like i planned,

and what a wonderful book it was.

when i'm walking home from work, i generally take the same route,

however, i like to change one street every so often.

i walked up a really good one today.

i have this weird fascination with homes and admiring the ones i could picture myself living in someday.

it's weird, i want my home to be the kind where you walk by and quickly say, "amanda must live here".

there are so many options it seems like, but none of them have been exactly right yet.

close though.

would you be weirded out if you saw me taking pictures of your house?

because i do that sometimes too. the ones i like and that i think are too pretty for me.

i was reading through old journal entries, and i really miss the way i used to write about things.

i used to put words together so nicely, unlike i do now.

sometimes i just have to sneak away.

real updates.

so really i've been working too little, going to too many shows,

celebrating way too many birthdays, struggling to get around,

and trying to find time for myself and for friends with the little down time i find hidden in corners.

i'm scared because i've been spending a lot of that free time sleeping and by myself,

and although i love it right now, i will probably feel unfulfilled and sad when moving time comes.

the month of august is already half full for me, and because i'll be having fun,

time is going to go by so fast. i really don't know what to do!

today i bought tickets to see rocky votolato play in a flipping house!

a friend's house! in east palo alto.

i bought one of the last 7 out of 40 tickets.

it will be legendary, i tell you.

i've been reading crime and punishment for the last 3 weeks and am really disappointed in how long it has taken me, i still have close to 100 pages left, and i am really determined to finish tonight.

i've read three books this summer. only three. that's not ok.

i'm getting more and more excited about getting my tattoo, although it's going to be between 400 and 600 dollars out of my pocket!

i'm worried about what i'm going to do for money when i get to seattle.

anyway, i got a macbook. that's pretty cool.

i am brainless when it comes to computers, so it's a bit overwhelming.

new toys are always exciting though!

i'm making a promise to myself right now to not sleep anymore than at bedtime.

IF i nap, they must last no longer than one hour.

i've been wasting too much time.

anyway, i'm off to read. seee ya.

.

always always always on the go.


boys really suck.

and

i also have a small feeling that the cure will slowly become my all time favorite band.


until death.