my sister said:

"the one thing you need to and will eventually realize, amanda, is this:
as you grow older, nothing changes. nobody knows what the fuck they're doing.
i mean, i don't know what the fuck i'm doing.
nobody ever knows what the fuck they're doing."
and i looked downward and said yeah, i guess...
she said, "no, listen to me. take mom, for example. i know that she bums you out sometimes,
i went through it all myself, but you have to remember, she doesn't know what the fuck she's doing! think about it: we're the only kids she's ever had. not to mention she came here from another country at 21 and had to learn it all herself. you are the only 17-year-old vegan middle college graduate moving to seattle in the fall that she's ever had, do you get it? she doesn't know how to deal with that! she doesn't even know what that means."
and at that point, it hit me just how insanely wise that statement was,
and it kind of makes everything make just a little bit more sense now.
because nobody really does know what the fuck they're doing,
and i really think my life is going to be a whole lot easier from here on out.
is that lame?

yesterday i finished two out of three film essays.
i still have one left, and will either be sitting here, or riding to the library to finish soon.
i stopped by gavin's around 9 and stayed until around 10:30.
there were a lot of people there, it was overwhelming.
the most unexpected people knew about my graduation and congratulated me,
it was really cool.
you were there, and we talked for a second, and you keep reminding yourself i'm leaving,
and i don't want you to, it makes me sad.
i headed over to aquarius to meet up with michael, lex, and luke.
it was a nice little party, although we just ended up sitting in an empty theater
telling hilarious and crazy childhood stories until 1:30 in the morning.
i wish we mingled a bit more and spent some time with michael,
but he repeatedly joined in on our story time.
we hung out the night before also anyway, but he is going to portland after all,
so i wish i gave him a bigger, longer hug. but i did snap a photo.
i'm thinking it will be really cool to stop at his house in portland, if possible, when mom and i are on our final way up to seattle.
in any case, it was a nice night.

my music knowledge is sososo rusty right now, and i need to fix that this summer.

after i finish the third essay, haley and i will be continuing our d.i.y. messenger bags,
which i think are going to turn out really rad.

ps. my work schedule is confirmed! saturdays and sundays are all mine. fridays are mine after 7. the only exceptions are coming up when cathy and carlos go on vacation and they need me to manage things while they're away.

the last half of june through september means reeeal fun.