in my attempts to find a job, i had to update my resume.
while i hate doing so, i am quite impressed with it.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
some nights are red when i want my eyes blue again.
getting older can be a huge bummer.
i keep questioning why i can't and don't have the same desire to write the way i used to.
and i think it's because i become less and less passionate about more and more things.
growing out of whatever used to make me happy happens so fast, yet subtly and beyond my control.
and lack of self-control is one of my biggest fears (if not the biggest).
free time seems to be almost nonexistent even though i feel so much less busy than i used to be,
which i hate.
i've always enjoyed the rush of work followed by school followed by work followed by school every day and then having no idea what to do with myself when that wasn't the case.
i hope to run into some sort of creative pull sometime soon (oh, and a job).
i want to invest in a sewing machine, and i want my guitars to be here, and i also wish i could draw.
today, i went to value village to kill time.
i was looking through the t-shirts, which are assorted by color.
i usually skip yellow, orange, pink, and purple for obvious reasons.
(i'm an earth tones and dark colors kind of gal).
but i also noticed that i ignored red.
when i was done with the rack, i paused to ask myself why i skipped red.
(because red's a nice color on me, and i have been hoping to come across a "poland" shirt, heh).
and i realized that i've always been hesitant to wear it because i was raised to be aware that red is a dangerous color due to where i grew up.
it's just interesting that it becomes subconscious habit to ignore certain things at home that are perfectly normal somewhere else (like the color red is in seattle).
it's also irritating that something like the color red can initiate danger.
question of the day: is there really such a thing as completely free thinking?
i keep questioning why i can't and don't have the same desire to write the way i used to.
and i think it's because i become less and less passionate about more and more things.
growing out of whatever used to make me happy happens so fast, yet subtly and beyond my control.
and lack of self-control is one of my biggest fears (if not the biggest).
free time seems to be almost nonexistent even though i feel so much less busy than i used to be,
which i hate.
i've always enjoyed the rush of work followed by school followed by work followed by school every day and then having no idea what to do with myself when that wasn't the case.
i hope to run into some sort of creative pull sometime soon (oh, and a job).
i want to invest in a sewing machine, and i want my guitars to be here, and i also wish i could draw.
today, i went to value village to kill time.
i was looking through the t-shirts, which are assorted by color.
i usually skip yellow, orange, pink, and purple for obvious reasons.
(i'm an earth tones and dark colors kind of gal).
but i also noticed that i ignored red.
when i was done with the rack, i paused to ask myself why i skipped red.
(because red's a nice color on me, and i have been hoping to come across a "poland" shirt, heh).
and i realized that i've always been hesitant to wear it because i was raised to be aware that red is a dangerous color due to where i grew up.
it's just interesting that it becomes subconscious habit to ignore certain things at home that are perfectly normal somewhere else (like the color red is in seattle).
it's also irritating that something like the color red can initiate danger.
question of the day: is there really such a thing as completely free thinking?
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
bon appetit.
i've never been much of a cook.
but being at heath's has changed that tremendously.
i've been cooking up a storm.
mainly stir-fries.
but they're fucking delicious.
but being at heath's has changed that tremendously.
i've been cooking up a storm.
mainly stir-fries.
but they're fucking delicious.
Monday, September 13, 2010
20 minutes alone.
i just re-read this blog for the first time since the last time i wrote.
i decided i want to continue it.
it will be exactly one year tomorrow since my last post,
and considering the amount of things that can happen in one day,
the things that have happened in one year are infinite.
i have record of it on another blog, but if you can recall, i was keeping it on the DL for awhile.
i needed to feel like i had some privacy, which was eventually destroyed, but what can ya' do?
this morning, i woke up to breakfast prepared by heath and ty.
i woke up to taylor and sierra and skunky and olive.
amelia and james too.
i came to seattle without anyone and now i have a family.
james and i applied for our new home today.
we will be living at heath and ty's until move-in, which is october 5.
i can't believe that i will have my own place.
i feel more and more like a big, bad grown-up every day.
i'm overwhelmed with excitement.
especially for visitors. i hope to have many visitors.
school starts in ten days, which i can't quite wrap my head around yet.
fall quarter is going to be fantastic though.
i had some girly one-on-one time with amelia yesterday.
age was involved in much of the conversation,
and i feel that it will be holding me back more than ever this year.
for awhile now, i've been and still am very ready for a serious relationship.
(as ready as one can be, that is).
this is new for me, which means that it is one of my stronger desires.
unfortunately, i don't see this happening for another couple of years because i can't help who i am attracted to.
they never seem to be younger than 23, and i hate understanding why that tends to be a problem.
but if i could be with who i wanted, nothing could really get better at this point in my life.
maybe health. but that's about it.
since august 28th, the day that seven of us left for montana, life has consisted of nonstop people and parties. i've been having the time of my life, but maaan do i cherish my 20 minutes alone.
i decided i want to continue it.
it will be exactly one year tomorrow since my last post,
and considering the amount of things that can happen in one day,
the things that have happened in one year are infinite.
i have record of it on another blog, but if you can recall, i was keeping it on the DL for awhile.
i needed to feel like i had some privacy, which was eventually destroyed, but what can ya' do?
this morning, i woke up to breakfast prepared by heath and ty.
i woke up to taylor and sierra and skunky and olive.
amelia and james too.
i came to seattle without anyone and now i have a family.
james and i applied for our new home today.
we will be living at heath and ty's until move-in, which is october 5.
i can't believe that i will have my own place.
i feel more and more like a big, bad grown-up every day.
i'm overwhelmed with excitement.
especially for visitors. i hope to have many visitors.
school starts in ten days, which i can't quite wrap my head around yet.
fall quarter is going to be fantastic though.
i had some girly one-on-one time with amelia yesterday.
age was involved in much of the conversation,
and i feel that it will be holding me back more than ever this year.
for awhile now, i've been and still am very ready for a serious relationship.
(as ready as one can be, that is).
this is new for me, which means that it is one of my stronger desires.
unfortunately, i don't see this happening for another couple of years because i can't help who i am attracted to.
they never seem to be younger than 23, and i hate understanding why that tends to be a problem.
but if i could be with who i wanted, nothing could really get better at this point in my life.
maybe health. but that's about it.
since august 28th, the day that seven of us left for montana, life has consisted of nonstop people and parties. i've been having the time of my life, but maaan do i cherish my 20 minutes alone.
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